


Riddled Nightmares

by Arones



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 20,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arones/pseuds/Arones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus is having nightmares and its starting to affect day to day operations of the Sanctuary. Will she be able to resolve them? Rated M for Violence and Sexual situations. WARNING: Graphic rape and violence, if you do not like this topic, please do not read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know these are shorter chapters but I will be posting about one a day. Hope you enjoy een though it is a heavy topic.

Helen could still feel the drugs working in her system. She hadn't meant to take that much of the cocaine, but apparently she'd had more than she thought. Blinking her eyes open she could make out a fuzzy figure lying naked next to her. John. Sighing she tried to move, but her stomach began to roil angrily and threatened to toss up whatever was left. She couldn't even make a noise in her throat to try and wake him because the cottony feeling was too pervasive.

She drew in deep breaths and waited patiently until she thought she could try to move again. Helen turned her head first to see if the room had stopped spinning and maybe was a little less fuzzy. Luckily it was. She tried to roll her body and made it halfway into the turn before she bounced back, her bottom flat against the pad covering the ropes on the bed. Her arms were raised above her head and when she attempted to move them down she couldn't. Feeling with fingers she stubbornly found leather wrapped tightly around her wrists, so tight there was no way she could extricate herself. What the hell?

Looking at the man again her stomach began to turn with vile. What had happened? She turned in the other direction to try and get a better look at John, but as soon as she put the pressure on her hip she cried out in pain. Immediately she returned to her back and looked down. Even through the bleary vision she could see the cut and dried blood covering her skin. Her head was beginning to hurt. Why couldn't she remember? She hadn't honestly overdone it that much had she?

Licking her lips and swallowing as much saliva as possible to try and remove the cotton ball she voiced his name, "John." She swallowed harshly again and her body racked with the motion and she felt the stinging over her breasts and abdomen then. She was scared to glance down, but she could resist, she needed to know. Her entire body was covered in cuts and bruises and dried blood. "God, John!" She was loud enough this time that he stirred slightly.

The tear started to pour silently over her cheeks and she couldn't help but let them fall. "John," her voice broke and he finally lifted his head, his eyes staring at her hard as stone. "John?" Her eyes were wide in fear when the knife glittered in front of her face and she felt the warm metal on her throat.

"Shut it, whore."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helen sat straight up in her bed, her nightshirt soaked through with sweat and her body shook when she drew in deep breaths attempting to calm her rapid heartbeat. She had to get out of the bed, she couldn't sit there. Struggling out of the covers she stood and covered her racing heart with a hand. Dragging the air into her lungs she leaned over the window sill holding her body up with her other hand. What the hell had that been?

She stood up straight when she felt she could and looked out the window catching him in the reflection. He was standing tall and stoic behind her, his hand outstretched, his clothes dark and his hair short. She spun on her heel and let out a breath when the room was empty. What was going on with her?


	2. Chapter 2

Helen took a long shower to soothe her tense muscles. Running the water as hot as possible she tilted her head under the flow and let it drench her hair. Pushing her bangs back so she could see she leaned against the shower wall, letting the water redden her pale flesh. She must have spent an hour in there, because when she emerged her fingers and toes were wrinkled, her entire body an angry red and the steam in the room was so thick she could probably cut it with a knife. A knife—like the one John used. She shook her head to clear the thought and finally set about her regular routine.

Time progressed slowly, slower than she had seen it go in a long time. Her files were already neatly stacked, she had her notes ready for the weekly staff meeting which was in an hour, and she'd already run through the newest abnormals to make sure everyone was settled and healthy. Five hours she'd been awake and in five hours she'd done the work that should have taken her the majority of the day. Nope, she wasn't avoiding anything at all.

Will was the first to arrive for the meeting and said he had a list of things that needed to be covered as well. She nodded and made room for them while they waited for the other to. The Big Guy was out of town on a super-secret mission according to him. No one knew where he went except Magnus and she refused to tell.

She sat in her normal spot and will chose the chair next to her, leaving the yellow couch for the two remaining members. She and Will conversed amicably until Henry scuttled in late, as usual, and it was time for them to begin. "Alright, Kate, the first thing I need to you start working on is blueprints for some of the stunners, the ones that don't have any. I need you to make these up, Henry will assist you." She looked at the young man and he nodded his agreement. "We have a few new abnormals that will be coming to live here from Norway, Henry I want you to make up the guest rooms and input them into the system when they arrive, they should be here late tomorrow." She turned to Will; this had been one of the things he wanted to discuss with them.

"Ok, so these two abnormals are a pair, mate for life, etc etc. But, the reason they are being moved here is because Norway was having problems with them. Seems the female becomes crazy jealous of the male and tends to overreact a bit—"

Magnus lost track of what he was saying at this point. Her mind was elsewhere struggling to keep up with what was flashing through her head. She could see her hands, soaked with tears. She had her nightslip on and was struggling to walk through the hallways to her own rooms after John had released her. The man was right; she shouldn't have been so flirtatious with her professor.

Helen had had questions for her professor: she needed clarification on some chemistry problem he had posed for the class so she had stayed late. She waited for the entire class to file out and some of the other students to pose their questions before she had her turn, she would probably take a lot more time than all their questions combined any way, she was just being polite. The professor had used some silly metaphor to explain the equation to her and it made her laugh. That was when John had walked in, looking for her.

He had waited until they reached her father's house before throwing a fist into her side and holding her against the wall with his fingers squeezing tightly around her throat. His eyes were wild and crazy but there was nothing she could do to stop him. He was breathing heavily into her ear, "Don't pretend you didn't know what you were doing. I saw it: whoring around behind my back."

She eyes started to water from the pain and lack of oxygen, she couldn't draw in a full breath nevertheless defend herself. Her palms were flat against the wall; if she even tried to hit him the result would only be worse than it already was. He grasped her breast tightly between all the layers of material covering her body. He squeezed painfully and she gasped, his fingers constricting further around her neck. He pressed into her until his hips and erection could be felt. Thrusting into her a few times until she whimpered in protest and closed her eyes not wanting to see or feel what would happen next.

It was then that she felt the warm hand on her arm. Blinking suddenly she looked over and saw Will sitting next to her with a concerned look on his face. She just shook her head at him and he nodded slightly in response before he continued on about the newest additions to their Sanctuary.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few days later when Magnus called Kate over the radio requesting that she gear up and meet her boss at the armory all in less than ten minutes. Kate was not one to screw around, but she had been sitting with Will having a very in depth conversation about the upcoming anniversary of the death of her father, which for some reason was hitting her harder this year than before. She grudgingly stood up and moved down the halls to change into field gear while Magnus did the same.

For a woman who dressed well, she was sure a quick one in the dressing room, then again after all her experience she probably had everything down to a science. Smoothing back her hair into a pony she started to make her way to the armory, sure she would beat Kate there by at least ten minutes when she caught an image in the reflection of her mirror. Glancing up she saw John's cold eyes right over her shoulder, his face hard and set. Gasping she turned to find the room empty once again. This had happened a few times since the first initial nightmare, but she was sure she had solved the problem since it hadn't reoccurred in a few days.

Taking, yet another calming breath, Magnus stood, smoothed her unwrinkable leather jacket over her stomach and moved for the door. By the time she met up with Kate she was completely calm and focused on the task ahead. "Grab the shotgun," she told Kate when the woman tried to leave with only the standard 9 mil, tranq's, and stunners.

"What?"

"Shotgun, we'll probably need it." She turned and fixed a second weapon into her belt to help with the three she already carried. It might have been a bit excessive, but she couldn't help it. They drive in silence to the house in the burbs where the chameleon had been sighted. Yes, it was odd that it was in a housing district, but not completely unbelievable.

Something went very wrong in the middle of the catch. Kate was behind the chameleon but had just been knocked to the ground. She hadn't seen overly hurt otherwise Magnus might have shot the thing then and there, but instead she pulled the attention towards her where a fairly invisible hand reached out and swiped a hand across her cheek forcing her to the ground. Pulling the weapon her leg strap she aimed it up and it became visible.

The form towered over her and she shrunk back waiting for John to strike out and pull her up by her hair. The anticipation was so strong that she missed the second swipe it made at her forcing her back into a piece of rebar that was poking straight up from the ground. It pierced through her side and she let out a grunt when her momentum finally stopped.

She flipped her wrist up and shot two rounds of tranquilizers into the beast's stomach. It instantly keeled over and fell at her feet. Closing her eyes, Magnus pulled her body up and unfortunately, ripped her side open further when removing herself from the metal. Kate was by her side in an instant but Magnus just brushed her off telling her to deal with the chameleon instead.

Grunting Magnus rolled to her knees and cupped her side. Looking down she saw blood, lots of blood. Oh this was not good, this was going to require stitches and her old friend was gone and with the position of it, there was no way she would be able to do it herself. Damn it.

Kate managed to get the abnormal into the back of the van on her own, somehow and was returning to help Magnus stand when the woman in question rolled back on her bottom in fear. Blinking her eyes rapidly she made out Kate's dainty form and stood painfully before any comment could be made.

In the shotgun seat of the van Magnus ripped off her jacket and started to tie a tourniquet tightly around her midriff while Kate powered through the streets. "You don't have to drive so fast, Kate."

"You're bleeding a lot." The woman retorted without glancing at her boss and taking another sharp turn and way too fast of a speed.

"Not enough to die in the short amount of time to the Sanctuary."

"Yu-huh sure, Doc." She took the last turn into their home and pressed the remote gate code from the van so everything was set for when they returned. "I'll get Will before settling this guy into the SHU."

"Thanks," Magnus slowly left the vehicle and made to meet her protégé in the infirmary. This was not going to be a pleasant ordeal.


	4. Chapter 4

Will had a needle in his hand and he was staring at his boss with a scared expression. Oh, boy, this was going to be interesting. He had already cleaned it as much as he could and the majority of the bleeding had stopped. She was stretched out on the medical cot with her shirt off and her fingers gripping the metal railing. Will was thankfully standing behind her and she couldn't see him well without twisting her body which only made her bleed more.

She repeated herself, "I need to you to give at least five shots, surrounding the wound to numb it a bit before you suture."

"Ok," he took in a deep breath and placed a gloved had on her warm side. Pressing the sharp end of the need into her flesh and depressing the top of the need he stopped and moved to the next place. Magnus didn't budge, twitch or move a millimeter. He was proud of her for that.

"Next, take the needle and thread. Pull it through both ends of the wound and tie it off, cut the string and do it again. It should take about 22 stitches to close it. Make sure you tie it tightly." She was going to have a scar from this one. With his unsteady and ill-practiced hand to the size of the wound: there was no way she would get away without a nice scar to remind her.

When he finished she checked over his work with a handheld mirror, she found a few loose stitches but she really didn't want to make him redo them, the lidocaine was starting to wear off. If they came loose or popped the other ones would hold the skin in place. "Good, I need you to wrap it lightly and tape over it." He nodded again and she stood for this part.

While he placed the gauze over her, he finally got up the courage to ask, "What happened?"

"Nothing really, just got knocked down onto a piece of rebar."

"Magnus, you don't just get knocked down, what really happened?"

"Nothing, I didn't react fast enough, that's all. How is he doing? Have you heard from Kate?"

"No, I haven't heard anything." He was going to let it slide this time, her avoidance, but if it happened again, there was no way that was going to happen.

He finished the sterile cover and turned quickly to grab her shirt. Magnus caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and shuffled backwards almost falling over. Will leaned in and grabbed her upper arm to right her before raising an eyebrow in question. "I'm fine, just dizzy. Loss of blood and all." Her head did that slight quirk thing it did when she was trying to use humor to leave the subject alone. Again he let it pass; she could be right after all, what did he know?

Magnus, however, knew much better. She had been afraid that he was going to hit her. Dear Lord, did she need to solve this problem or what? Not only nightmares, flashbacks and a sudden onset of fear, but to think that Will, one of the kindest gentlest men she knew, would strike her? This was wrong.

He laid a hand on her arm and looked at her in the eye, "Want help getting this on?" He raised the shirt in front of her face.

"Yeah, that would be nice, thanks." He bunched up the material of the gray shirt she always kept handy next to her scrubs and helped to pull it over her head. Magnus reached up and flung her hair out of the neck line with her arm from her good side and the pulled on the sleeve with him while raising her bad arm up to push it through the tiny hole it was supposed to fit in. He was the one who pulled the sleeve all the way down to her wrist and she turned away from him struggling to get her other hand through the other sleeve hole.

Sighing in frustration, she turned to Will with a pleading look in her eyes. He, smartly, didn't make a comment or change his facial expression when he leaned in to help. "You sure you're ok? Don't need to talk about anything?"

"Honestly Will," she started before she realized she was lashing out. She finished dressing and then continued her sentence, "I'm fine really, just a bit tired. I think I'll go check on the chameleon before I head up to bed."

"Bed?" He glanced down at his watch, "Magnus, it's only 8. Seriously what's going on?"

She started to walk out of the room, "Thank you for your help tonight William, it was most appreciated. I'll see you in the morning." And with that, she was out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus didn't sleep that night. She had returned to her rooms, cleaned herself up without disturbing her lovely new cut and patch job her protégé had done and settled down on top of the covers with a good book in her hand. She must have dosed off because she woke to the sound of her doorknob turning and rattling.

Reaching to her side she pulled out the gun she always kept in place there. She held it with both hands tightly, her right index finger pulling slightly on the trigger and her left hand holding her right for support and steadiness. She was wide awake and tense when the door finally swung open to reveal John, holding her protégé forcefully against him with a silver blade to the young man's throat. She could already see drops of blood dribbling down into Will's collar and he did not make one move or struggle against John's iron hand and body.

"John." Her voice was steady, which seemed to surprise her considering the dreams and waking moments he had been plaguing her with.

"Helen, look what I found lurking around in the dark hallways." His voice was higher pitched, he was pleased with himself, she knew and there was little she could do. Will was basically blocking John's entire body, by shooting the Ripper anywhere, young William's throat was sure to be slit.

"What do you want?" She still had yet to move from her spot of the bed, half laying and half reclining against the pillows. Her legs free from blankets, but confined because she didn't want to lose her shot.

John pulled his hand closer to Will's neck and the boy winced, his eyes then glued to Magnus'. "Just you, my love, only and always, just ever you."

"What could you possibly want with me?" She was trying to silently communicate with Will, but he wasn't paying attention, too focused on fear perhaps? Although, it was not like him to be consumed by one emotion.

It was then that she saw John tense his muscles; he was getting ready to slice through the skin. "John!" But it was too late. Will's neck was cut and she fired her weapon in an instant, hitting her target of John's shoulder as he turned into the young man he had just killed.

Magnus stood quickly and made her way to the two men lying on her floor. She had missed John's shoulder and had caught him in the neck, odd. Laying fingers against Will's bloodied neck she felt no pulse. She closed her eyes for a moment gathering strength before she reached to do the same to other.

As she leaned over him, her knees rocked against the ground to support her movement and weight, John reached out and flung her onto her back, knife pressed firmly into her jugular now. He pulled her weapon from her fingers, prying it away and shuffling it across the floor until it landed under her bed.

She was breathing heavily. This was it, he was angry beyond recourse and there was nothing she could do this time to talk him out of anything. She drew in another gasp of air, feeling the blade dig in because of the expansion in her lungs and throat as the air passed through her. "John," she calmed her voice, added a soft sob hoping her weakness might reach him in this state.

"My love," his lips were on hers and she couldn't help herself. She was responding to him. His hand slid up her side, her flesh heated in its wake and she moaned into his mouth. This was disgusting, what was she doing. It was then that she noticed his body was completely covering his, one of his hands roaming freely over her, the other still keeping the sharp end of the blade tight against her.

"John, stop."

"No."

"John! Stop it this instant." His hand was cupping her under her silk pants and his fingers were nudging into her. Magnus tried to buck her body against him but John held firmly. There was nothing she could do. He was fully inside her now, her pants around her ankles and John, thrusting into her unmoving and lax body. A salty drop slipped out of the corner of her eye when she turned her head and saw Will's cold eyes staring open at her.

"Magnus!" The voice was coming from the radio she always kept on her night stand. Turning her head she heard it again. "Magnus!" It was Will!

She held the button down and pressed her lips to it, "Yes?" Was that her voice? Scratching and deep?

"Sally needs you; she says it's real important and couldn't wait until your rounds."

She glanced at the watch she laid carefully next to her radio before settling in to read it read 8:00. Apparently she had more than dosed off.


	6. Chapter 6

She was watching him again, she really couldn't stop. No matter how many times, in that one day she had tried to stop watching him. His eyes were most definitely telling her he was alive, yet, when she wasn't looking at him, all that kept flashing through her brain was the cold look he had emanated in her nightmare. She had also kept him close, asking for his assistance on petty little things that she most certainly could have done herself, or asking him to dine with her for lunch rather than eat by herself in her office. Maybe she was just being overprotective, but honestly, anyone would react this way right?

Will was sitting next to her, on the couch asking her about some great adventure she had supposedly been on with some famous person that he was currently obsessed with and she was not paying attention to one thing he said. She was observing him: making sure his pulse was still beating in his uninjured neck, his lips that moved with the words he said and the way his body tilted slightly in towards her when he became very excited about the topic.

"Magnus," his voice was complacent yet there was a hidden warning in it. He was exasperated with her to a certain degree yet, curiosity was also weighing heavily in. So many things, in the way he said her name, just that one word.

"Yeah?" She lifted the ever present mug of tea to her lips in an attempt to ward off the shiver that was threatening to pull her body into minor convulsions. It only half worked.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" She was leaning over to return the mug to the table when he barreled into the conversation, headstrong and confident he would get somewhere this time.

"You haven't answered a single one of my questions."

She opened her mouth suddenly to protest, but, upon realizing she hadn't actually heard a word he said, she closed it once more. "I'm sorry my mind seems to have wandered."

"That's just it! I didn't ask a single question, but you weren't listening at all. Your mind does not just 'wander' without just cause. Are you going to tell me what's going on or not?"

"Nothing is going on, Will. I just…didn't sleep very well last night." It was a lame excuse if she knew one, but there was nothing else she could think of.

"Magnus, you go for days without sleeping at a time and function perfectly normally. Now, you're trying to get it by me, that you slept poorly one night and aren't functioning up to par. I don't buy it."

"I'm sorry Will, honestly, that really is all that this is: simple weariness." She placed a hand on his arm to try and reassure him that she was speaking the truth and with the soft look he gave her in response she thought she had.

"Something is wrong."

"What does that mean?"

"You're not eating; you're not sleeping; you injured yourself on a mission, something I rarely if ever see you do. You—" He stood at this point, so he could pace around the room to get it across to her that this was something serious. When he stood, his knees jostled against hers and she jumped back further in her seat in surprise, a hand clutching at her chest and her eyes squeezed shut against whatever it was he was going to do to her. Will stopped. He stopped everything, the tirade, his movements, the time—if he could have stopped that and hit rewind he would have gladly. He waited until she had calmed; until her eyes opened and locked with his. "That, right there. What was that?"

"It was nothing." She sounded breathy even to her own ears.

"It was not nothing. What was it?" He bent down in front of her, pressing a warm hand and fingers against her bare knee. That couldn't have given her anymore proof than she needed that he was alive and well.

"Drop it, Will, it was nothing alright?" She stood and made for her desk, turning around and leaning against it. A defense mechanism, yes and one she rarely used even when John paid visits. He noticed it most definitely; there was no getting around his keen skills in observation. "It was just a memory, that's all." Had she really just been bullied into something?

Just then, Henry burst through the open door, "Hey Doc, there's a flying monkey thing on the loose in the warehouse district. We just got a call and some live feed on the cams. We gotta get this one quick otherwise it ain't gonna be pretty." Magnus gave her young counterpart one more look ensuring that this conversation was over. The look she received back, however, said it was far from over.


	7. Chapter 7

All four of them went. This was not going to be an easy capture, with the little information that they had and the spotty footage she had seen she couldn't even tell what type of abnormal it was. Flying monkey thing helped in no way define the personality and character traits of an abnormal. And it most certainly would have helped avoid the situation she now found herself in.

Will had to duck quickly when the thing jumped up and flew at him, striking with sharp claws and coincidentally hitting his left shoulder blade when he dove for the ground slower than was necessary to avoid a direct hit. Kate had already been hit by the thing and lay unconscious in a heap behind Henry who was actively protecting the young woman.

Will stood, grasping his arm and she saw the blood seep from between his fingers. Magnus stopped; her heart pounding and her eyes transfixed on his wound. She couldn't move; she was frozen on the spot. The creature swiped his clawed hand across her face and knocked her to the ground where she hit her head against the metal dumpster behind her and fell into the black world of calmness.

Henry dropped his stunner and grabbed for the weapon strapped to his leg that Magnus always insisted he carry. Seemed it was going to come in useful tonight. He shot an entire round into the creature and it finally fell to the ground. Henry checked Kate's pulse first and she began to rouse from the unconscious world, albeit slowly and barely. Next he went to Magnus, while Will stalked over to the creature, making sure it was actually dead.

When he was satisfied he moved over to where Henry was kneeling next to Magnus. "We're gonna need the Big Guy to make it not scar." Will nodded silently and pressed his clean hand to her cheek. This was not going to be a pleasant recovery in all manners.

"Let's take her to the hospital, at least she'll get a plastic surgeon to do the stitches or someone more experienced than me."

"What are we gonna say?" Kate had stood and staggered over to them, limping slightly.

"Dog, and if I have to pull some strings I will." He pulled her jacket open and looked at the stitches on her side; she had popped about three of them. He'd have to redo them after they left the ER AMA because there was no way he was going to let that one get by them.

"They don't look that deep," the Indian's voice was calm and quiet, "they're probably just going to glue it up and butterfly bandage it. No point in taking her, I can do it."

"Alright, let's get her in the van and off the wet ground first, come back for that thing second." Will took charge easily and they listened, neither having issue with his argument.

Magnus awoke slowly and with much pain in her shoulder and knee. She groaned quietly and tried her hardest to open her eyes, but was unable to open the left one at all. Will saw this and settled in next to her after closing the book he was reading about the flying monkey creature they had killed. "Hey there."

"What happened?"

"A lot, how are you feeling?"

She took a deep breath and decided not to answer that question for him or for herself as the answer was not going to be a positive one. "When can I get out of here?"

"Not for a while, seems we have quite a bit to discuss and you are officially off active duty and out of a job until you talk to me."

"That's not necessary." She tried to move to sit up and he effectively pushed her right back down without much effort.

"It is, Magnus. You weren't the only one hurt out there tonight and something is up with you that's causing all this. You froze. You were unable to perform your duties adequately and that is not acceptable."

She waited a long moment before speaking, "It's just memories."

"Memories which are affecting your judgment, your ability to work, and even more importantly, you're ability to sleep." She acknowledged every one of his observations with a nod. "So, what are these memories?"

He saw the tear slip from under her closed lids before he heard her raspy breath. "John. It's always John."


	8. Chapter 8

"Magnus, I'm not going to let you leave this room until you agree to either speak with me or someone else about this entire situation."

She just stared blankly at him; she couldn't talk to him. He was her employee, true she had hired him for his psychological training to help with the behavioral issues of abnormals, but she hadn't ever intended to utilize him herself. Yet, honestly, where else was supposed to turn. Normally she would have talked to James about this—he had known everything about what had happened. But James was dead.

Will watched her carefully, and picked up on the sad thoughts running through her mind, the depression that flitted through her eyes and he undoubtedly knew she was thinking of her closest friend. "We don't have to talk about this tonight, but it does need to happen. I really do not want to have to invoke Article 9 again because of your refusal to emotionally and mentally take care of yourself."

She nodded curtly in agreement and clenched her fists together tightly. Taking a deep breath, she decided she might as well get this over with now and tell him something to keep him entertained for a while and she would be allowed to escape back into work and ignore the issue once again. "John wasn't always a violent man, William, you must understand this." She lowered her eyes to her legs, letting them become unfocused and glide into memory.

It was the first night she truly understood how violent he could be. She and James had been working late the previous evening and John had waited impatiently for her in her bedroom. He had said nothing at that point, only made passionate love to her until the wee hours of the morning. The following evening her father was hosting a dinner with a few fellow doctors and patrons who might support his nightly work. John and James had been invited as well as Nigel: Nikola had been left out due to his inability to hold his tongue. The conversation had been traveling on well until the subject of chemistry came up and a particular chemical equation that some of the good doctors were having issue with.

Helen had interjected with an idea, even though she knew the answer was incorrect, but it did change the parameters surrounding the current method of thought. John had interjected in the middle of her explanation, "Helen, my love, you almost failed chemistry each semester we took the class. Had you not cheated off poor Nikola then you would not have passed. Leave this talk to the gentlemen."

Her cheeks had turned bright red and her heart beat furiously. The man and his audacity, how dare he insult her in her father's home? His voice had been so placating and demeaning there was nothing she could do. Helen sat silently until everyone had left, playing the doting hostess and mistress of the home and, unfortunately, doing exactly what John wanted her to do, which was for her to play the woman.

He had found her in the hallway later that night after she had slammed a few doors and ripped the pins out of her hair in anger. She was on her way to find a cup of tea that might soother her as she was in no mood to deal with his antics. He shoved her against the corridor wall with only fingers wrapped around her neck. "Helen, my love, have I not told you to hold your tongue in front of company?"

He wasn't squeezing hard enough that she could breathe, yet, but with her pale demeanor she would not doubt be wearing high collared dresses for weeks. "John, stop it, you're hurting me." That only seemed to have the opposite reaction she was looking for. Instead, the gleam in his eye only gave her an instant of warning before his fist pummeled into her ribs. Helen keeled over in pain and he ripped her head back by her hair. He took his other hand and ripped the top portion of her dress down to reveal her breasts covered only in a corset. John licked his lips and bared his teeth before bending down and biting hard enough to draw blood from the plush mound he found now exposed.

Magnus cried out in pain and Will covered her hands with his, creating a contact to bring her back into his world: the current world and beyond the ones of her thoughts. "Magnus…" he waited patiently until he knew she was back with him. "Where did you go just then?"

The tears were now uncontrollably streaming down her cheeks. "London."

"I always wondered why you didn't visit there more often."


	9. Chapter 9

Will let her rest for the remainder of the evening and, even, the remainder of the week. She was not on active duty anyway due to her injuries so he didn't have to fight with her on that. Magnus was stuck in her office, filing and recording and working solely on paperwork, conflict management and administrative duties.

When she didn't come to him after five days, Will decided to take the initiative. He opened her office door, knowing that she wouldn't be on any conference call or in any type of meeting. She had inadvertently kept her office door shut to ward off the people who would come seeking her, or more specifically, Will, who she knew would want to fix the problem she had revealed. It was an unconscious gesture that she had managed to miss, but he had not. "Magnus, I am scheduling you in for mandatory sessions." He was strong in his conviction to her, knowing that he would not take no for an answer in any way shape or form.

"I thought you might." She stopped for a moment, gathering herself together. "When shall we begin?" He had shut the door behind him, and she knew that they would be beginning now, but at the same time felt that she should give him the option. Instead of giving her an answer, since he could read she already knew it, he waved his hand in front of him, signaling her to begin. She huffed, "I don't see why this is necessary, honestly. I told James everything."

"Did you?"

Magnus sighed and leaned back into her chair, knowing he would sit opposite her. Sometimes he knew her too well, "Only that which was necessary. James needed to know what John was capable of and I made sure that he did."

"Did you tell him you were raped?"

Magnus paused, her head turning to the side to look out the window. "It was his right." Will wisely kept silent and waited for her to continue. "At least it was in those times." She glanced back over to him quickly before fiddling with a pen she found on her desk. "I was an anomaly, an abnormality. I believe that John thought he could tame me."

"Tame you."

"Maybe not at first. At first I think he loved me, but he changed." She closed her eyes before staring at the shiny metal pen in her hands. The sun reflected off it and sent a bolt of light into her eyes.

She was standing naked in front of John. He had profusely apologized for hitting her and kissed her bruised ribcage until she was giggling at the stupidity of it all. He claimed he would never harm her again and pressed his lips to her abdomen that was pooching out slightly. She hadn't told him yet, but she was sure he would be happy with her pregnancy. Brushing fingers through his hair she grinned and leaned down to him letting her lips meet his passionately.

"John, love."

"Yes, darling?" His deep voice drawled it out and she smiled knowing he did it on purpose to heat her cheeks.

She took his hand then in hers and pressed it firmly against her stomach. "We're going to have a baby." He started at that. Suddenly, she was unsure of his reaction. His eyes had grown cold and hard.

"This isn't the time, Helen. You need to be rid of it."

She stepped back from him, grabbing for her nightgown and threw it over her head. "What do you mean, John?"

"We're not married, love. We're not even engaged; what will people say? And with my illness, this is hardly the time for us to bring a child into the world. There will be other children, I promise. But you must be rid of this." He was firm and unmoving in his decision and she was sure that she would have no input into the matter.

"I will not." Helen had decided to stand her ground. Her mother had given birth to only one child and with her training she knew it was rare for women in her family to conceive; she would not lose this because it simply wouldn't be proper. Since when had she done anything proper?

John stood towering over her, his face menacing in the candle and fire light. "This is not up for debate, Helen."

"I will not." She repeated only to have his hand connect harshly with her face. She paused for a moment. "I will find another solution."

"And if you don't?"

She hesitated, but only for a moment, "I will be rid of it."

"When I'm better, then we'll marry and have many children. We'll fill this house with them." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. Helen didn't move into him.

"About that, I've been thinking. I might have a cure for illness."

"Yes?"

Helen sat on the bed and began to take him through her thought process and thinking that had led her to the conclusion that her blood would be the cure.


	10. Chapter 10

"Magnus?" Will was kneeling in front of her, and she was forced to look down at him to meet his eyes. "I need you to stay here with me, in this moment." She nodded solemnly. "Where did you go?"

"London." Again, her answer it seemed was always going to be the same. "He wanted me to kill her. He wanted me to kill Ashley." She shook her head violently at his attempt to make her stop talking. "No, Will, you don't understand. I was going to. If I hadn't found another solution, I was going to kill her! God, what kind of mother am I?"

"You weren't a mother yet, you were scared and you were being abused, Magnus. You need to understand that."

She nodded, "I do. I really do understand that."

"Do you? Do you understand all the repercussions and consequences that being a victim has on you and your future?"

She sighed, "I thought I did."

"Alright." He paused a moment, yet remained where he was, even though his knees and thighs were beginning to hurt. "I want to try something." She waited for him to continue, thinking she was not going to like this at all. "Touch seems to pull you out of these memories, so I want you to squeeze my hand every time you need to leave London, ok?" She nodded. "Now, tell me what happened after he told you to kill Ashley." Will was vaguely aware that she wasn't speaking recently, but he couldn't be quite sure.

"Nikola helped me with the containment, and James performed the surgery. I didn't tell John, he was recovering from pneumonia and had just proposed to me the week prior." Her mind flashed to the moment when John has come to find her, his body sweaty with the recently broken fever and his cheeks flushed.

"Did you do it Helen?" He was leaning against her bedpost, but she was still nervous about his reaction.

She knew exactly what he was referring to, "Not exactly." The knife appeared from nowhere and Helen took a step back suddenly, fearing for her life. He slid the sharp end under the top of her dress and sliced down quickly exposing her flesh. He ripped the material with his hands and dragged it the rest of the way down her body.

"I love you," He whispered in her ear, turning her to face away from him. He slid the metal under the ties of her corset and let it fall away and tore the remaining material off so she was bare before him. He trailed the knife over her perfect skin, daring his inner self to make a mark. Helen stood there, silent and unmoving, fear overriding any sense of right and wrong. He moved her to a lying position on the bed and retracted her knees up to her chest. Issuing an order for her to hold them in place she complied.

He then took two fingers and inserted them into her, widening and stretching. He pulled out suddenly and then shoved the knife in to replace his hand. Helen started to cry, the sobs breaking the barrier of the back of her throat. But she did not scream. John swirled the sharp edge in a circle three times before pulling it out again. He immediately set the knife aside and lowered his trousers. He entered her fast and began to pound into her stiff and tortured form.

She was crying silently by the time he finished. John reached down between them and pulled his bloodied fingers to her face, forcing her to lick them clean. "Come, my love, we need to take care of you now don't we." He moved to a basin that was always full on her dresser and poured it over a wet cloth. He began to clean himself and then finally her. Helen had yet to move, fearing the pain that she would feel.

Her hands were squeezing her knees as tight as possible, surrounding the hard bones. Will could barely breathe she was squeezing his hand so hard. He kept on repeating her name is soft tones, switching from "Magnus" to "Helen" minutes before to try and drag her out of whatever state she was in. It was unsuccessful the many times he had tried.

It happened so suddenly he wasn't even sure it had. She was sobbing and staring at him, her eyes completely focused on his face. Will reached to cup the back of her neck and pulled her body into his while the cries plagued through her entire body. His shirt was bunched in her fists and he refused to release her body until her eyes were completely dry and she could sit before him without disappearing into memories.


	11. Chapter 11

"He took such good care of me after that."

"After he hurt you." It was a statement not a question; as if he could see into what she had seen flashing before her eyes. Flashbacks, something she rarely if ever experienced the last few weeks notwithstanding.

"Yes, Will, after he hurt me." She had finally extricated herself from his locking grasp around her body. She wiped her tear stained cheeks and the red of intense and sudden emotion began to fade. "He always took good care of me after, but this time I was ill for quite a bit longer." Will watched her stand and move to the couch, where she sat precariously on the edge and waited for him to follow.

His knees would most definitely be hurting from the amount of time he had stayed squatting in front of her blubbering form. "James and Nikola became suspicious of why I was ill, of course they didn't tell me this until much later." She paused when he sat down and she looked out the window again, her eyes losing focus. "I can't have any more children." Magnus tucked her head down at that and watched her hands intensely.

Will sat next to her and held her hand tightly in his for minutes as she focused on nothing other than her thoughts. He was very comfortable with the silence she was creating, knowing that she was losing herself in memories made it a bit better. After many minutes passed until almost an hour had gone by since he'd entered he squeezed her fingers slightly. It had its desired affect and caught her attention and she looked up at him. "I'm very tired, Will. I think I'll go have a rest." She patted his hand like he was a child and stood and left the room. Well at least he'd gotten somewhere with her, she admitted something to him, that was a rare and large feat.

Helen walked rather clumsily back to her rooms, her entire body emitted its weariness and she actually had to use the wall for support when she turned the handle on the door. She didn't even bother folding her clothes and neatly putting them in the laundry. She stripped naked and crawled into the bed. She was so tired, but her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above her in a completely awake state. She turned her head when she felt the mattress dip down on the other side of the bed.

Her eyes locked with John's. "Helen, my love," his hand reached out to cup her cheek but she didn't move away. He wasn't real, he wasn't real. She chanted it over and over in her head trying to convince herself that he wasn't really there, but her eyes never left his when his fingers brushed against her warm and still flushed skin.

She closed her eyes on the contact and sighed, it was such a loving gesture. He suddenly turned her head to see the scrapes that graced her cheek, "What is this?" His voice grew angry.

"N-nothing, just an accident," her voice trembled. Why did she always revert to being so young and naïve around him? He dragged the blanket down revealing her bare skin to him.

He looked over her form in much admiration before his eyes honed in on the stitches still gracing her side. "Not nothing, Helen, what have you done?" He pressed a hand over the wound and increased the pressure until she winced from the pain. He leaned over and licked her stitches before whipping out a knife from his pocked and pressing it to the tight strings. She gasped when she felt the strings begin to pop one by one and the wound open slightly. It wasn't all that painful, but the feeling was far from pleasant. However, she did cry out when he pressed the sharp end of the knife deeper into the cut and spread the skin further and further apart from each other.

Taking her good arm she swung at his head, her palm planting on his cheek and pushing him off her, the knife successfully removed from her side with no more damage done. John growled and held the knife to her throat, "Don't try me, Helen; you know exactly what I am capable of." He moved his head down and bit hard on the top of her breast, hard enough to break skin.

"John! Stop it!"

Will heard her voice from the hallway and burst into the room, his hand hard against the solid oak door and he looked over to see his boss laying naked and bleeding from her side with the Ripper leaning over her form leering at him. He didn't have time to react when John threw the knife and it plunged into his bare throat. He collapsed on the floor, his neck gurgling as he tried to keep breathing and was unable to because of the destruction done to his esophagus. It was a wound he wouldn't survive, she knew it, but it was a painful death to watch.

"Will!" She called out, trying to shove the man off her!

He caught his name being called and entered the room to find her tangled in sheets, her body sweaty with trace amounts of blood spattering the crisp and clean sheets and her body.


	12. Chapter 12

"Magnus, I'm right here." His voice was surprisingly calm when he grabbed onto her shoulders to stop her thrashing.

She sat straight up, ignoring her nudity and pressed finger to his face to make absolute certain he was still alive. Once she had effectively taken his pulse she pulled the sheets up over her breasts and clung to them like a lifeline. "I'm sorry, Will. I must have startled you."

"You did." He didn't dare lie to her, but he was sensing something was off. "I was in the dream wasn't I?"

Magnus leaned back against the headboard and luckily a pillow was propped behind her. She really didn't want to answer the question, but she could see no way around it. He had been very direct. She took a deep breath in and in winced suddenly in pain. Lifting her arm and gingerly pulling away the blankets she saw the blood for the first time. "Dear lord, what is this?"

Will fingered around it noticing the stitches sliced and deepening of the cut. "You were struggling a lot in your sleep."

"You can't break stitches like that, Will. There were sliced. Like—" She didn't want to continue, then she would be telling him exactly what had happened when she really didn't want to. He didn't even give her the chance; he held her gaze and silently pushed her to continue. "Like my dream."

"Like your dream?"

"Yeah, John cut it, with his knife before—before he killed you."

"Did he say anything?"

Odd question she thought, "Nothing unusual. Why?"

"I'm trying to determine if it was actually a dream."

"You don't think—"

"I won't rule out the possibility."

Talk about role reversal. She was usually the one not ruling out any possibilities and here was Will, thinking of all possibilities and outcomes for her. "Could you get me my robe, please? I'll need you to stitch these up again, butterfly I think should be fine this time."

After taking care of her injury for the second time, he escorted her back to her rooms. Magnus leaned heavily on his arm the entire way. "Thank you, Will." She placed a hand on his chest before leaving him in the hallway.

Will decided to give her two days to see if she would come to him to talk. Of course, he should have known better and she didn't. He was once again knocking on her door when he knew she would be available. This time he sat on the couch and she immediately moved next to him. "How many times have the dreams happened?"

"Enough."

"How many times has it not been a memory?"

She stopped at that, he was a quick one wasn't he. "Twice," Her eyes were locked on his and she was not going to stand down.

"And I died in both of them?" Her head softly nodded in response. "Why can't you have children?" Her body tensed; every muscle on edge as she scooted closer off the couch cushion.

"John…just before James confronted him about the Ripper killings there was an incident that left me unable to carry an embryo."

"What did John do to you?"

"It wasn't John; he didn't mean to do anything."

"Magnus," Will paused to be sure he had her attention. "Just tell me what he did."

"He used a knife. The same one he used to kill Molly four weeks later. He—he did some awful things to me Will, I'd really rather not discuss it."

"Alright."

"The night John proposed was one of the best nights in my life." She looked down at her hands which were twisting ominously, "It's odd that I have the best and the worst nights with the same person." She heard the door creak open, but she didn't turn to see who it was, figuring her old friend was bringing her afternoon tea like he always did. But she did stop talking. Will pressed his fingers over her hand, comforting yet still distant from the situation. It was necessary for him.

"You love him," Will continued for her. She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. Yes, yes she did love him; she loved him more than she could possibly comprehend. But that didn't matter. She looked up at Will then, tears spilling over her cheeks and her chest throbbing with the lack of air from her trying to hold the violent sobs in.

"Helen?" She started at his voice. The voice she had been trying to ignore, avoid and completely forget for the past few weeks and the one she couldn't seem to let go of. She turned suddenly, standing and face the man of her nightmares. "What happened?" John didn't move at him, his eyes racking over her form that was concealed in a tight green dress.

Her face scrunched with her tears and emotions that swirled like death inside of her, "John."


	13. Chapter 13

"Magnus," Will said, looking directly at her before following the track of her eyes to where she was staring.

The woman just shook her head and repeated herself, "John." She stepped around the couch to face him down, her heels giving her the perfect height. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked me to come." He smiled was gorgeous and if her blood wasn't racing through her veins in fear her knees would have been weak. It was then that she noticed what he was wearing, a dress suit, trousers and a jacket with flaps behind him. No leather. His hair was short and the scar still stark on his cheek but this was not the John of her present.

"You're not real." She stopped herself then, turning to face Will who was patiently waiting. She completely blotted John out of her view, but she knew he was still there. At least he was in her mind. She could sense him, smell him, he was very close, overwhelming the room. She was trying her damnedest to completely obliterate him from her mind that she didn't feel him coming closer until he slid a hand around her face and cupped her mouth.

Magnus gasped and struggled but his other arm held a knife to her throat and he kissed a trail down her neck. She couldn't move. If she moved to the right the knife would cut her, and if she moved to the left John's lips would have more contact with her skin. Her hands clenched tightly and she closed her eyes, her throat issuing a soft cry and plea for him to stop but he very much ignored her.

Her eyes were beginning Will to do something, anything, but he just stood there staring at the scene unfolding before his eyes. It took her a loud whimpering cry to snap him out of it. He started talking to John, his eyes flicking between the two of them and silently trying to speak with Magnus. "John, is this really what you want? Her to die?"

The man ignored him, instead releasing her mouth and slowly opening her dress, button by button exposing her to her young protégé. "My Helen, beautiful as always," he bit hard into her shoulder covering her mouth once again to muffle her cry. It was then that he felt the tears on her cheeks, "Don't cry, my love. This is what you wanted, this is always what you've wanted."

Her eyes met Will's and she tried to focus on anything but was happened to her. She was petrified with fear, unable to move thinking that once again, for real this time, she would have to watch him die. She had seen him die so many times, but with John wielding the knife, there was no way the young man would survive.

She wanted to bounce, to release the energy that was building in her. She wanted to turn around and throttle John then and there. She cried out once again, not realizing that John's hand had moved down the front of her body.

"Will," she sobbed out, and her head moved as slight as possible side to side, "I'm so sorry."

"Magnus…"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her head slid quickly forward and he saw the flash of steel before she rammed it back into John's leg. The man stumbled backwards, his arms relaxing enough that she was able to push away from him. She turned to face him and pulled the weapon from its holster and shot three times before falling to the floor in heart wrenching cries, the gun still held loosely in her fingers.

Will was behind her then, his hands holding her shoulders and letting the tears fall until she had no more. "Magnus," his voice was soft and gentile. When she looked up finally she saw no body. No John. There were three holes in her wall, but no dead body. She turned to the man behind her accusingly, but he had no explanation for her. "There was nothing there to begin with, I swear to you."

She continued to sit on her knees staring at him. It took her many long moments to finally make a decision. "Here," she shoved the weapon at him until he took it. Standing, Magnus unhooked a second weapon from her thigh and a knife from her other wrist that had been hidden by the long sleeves she wore. Further she moved around the room collecting and handing him all guns, knives, and other sorts of objects that she kept nearby. Without saying a word she moved to her bedroom and performed the same ritual. It certainly wasn't a cleansing by any means, since she would most likely feel less safe without the items nearby, but she could not afford another episode like the one that had just occurred.


	14. Chapter 14

Will was sitting across from her this time. Her legs were crossed and her body indrawn and tight. She was nervous. Helen Magnus was nervous and scared. She had no idea where this exact conversation was going to take her. "I need you to relax." His voice was soft when he spoke, the psychologist's voice that he had practiced many an hour to perfect taking over.

"I'm not going to relax, Will, it's not something I do." Her tone was short and she knew it, but at that particular moment she didn't care.

"I know, but you have to try or this is not going to be as effective." Magnus closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath slowly and released it reticently and tediously. It was a sign to him that she was ready to begin. "So you were raped."

Magnus' eyelids flew open at his accusation, her blue orbs boring into his. "I was…forced to have sex with him, yes."

He wasn't quite sure what the distinction was, but it was definitely worth tracing her thoughts on the matter. "And what is the difference, if I may ask, between forced sex and rape?"

She looked at her hands then, knowing she had done something wrong, said the wrong words, and implied the wrong answer. That was so unlike her, she was usually always right, except about these matters. She was always wrong about these matters. "It was a different time, Will. There was no such thing as rape." Her voice was defensive, but her movements said resigned.

"You might have been born in a different time, and you might have grown up in one, but you are not of that time now. And let's face it, even back then you weren't of that time, Magnus. So what makes you think that you would still be confined to those rules?"

He did have a valid point. Magnus remained silent: she wanted to let him do the talking for now. She was never very good at this emotional talking. She had decided long ago that it was mostly gibberish and pointless, though it did have some valid points and use during immediate traumas or situations. That had been why she had hired him, not so he could sit there and shrink her. Yet, here she was, sitting in his office on a Tuesday morning after being banned from active duties letting him shrink her.

He interrupted her thoughts with another jarring question, "How many times did he rape you?"

Her eyes slowly moved from the floor where they had somehow locked on a few loose strands of the carpeting, to his shoes, his legs, his chest and then his face. "I—I don't know. Too many times to remember or to count." Her eyes immediately flicked right back to the loose strands of carpeting. The carpeting was safe, it wouldn't ask unnecessary questions.

"Did he rape you with something other than his body?"

She flashed to that moment when she saw the knife, when she knew that's what he was going to do with it. The tears started to streak down her face and her head was shaking back and forth, she was crying out "No! No!" in an instant.

He kneeled down in front of her, grasping her hands to separate them from the death grip they had on each other. He noticed her palms were bleeding from where her nails had been digging into the flesh. "Magnus." She looked up at him, her eyes focusing enough so he knew he held her attention. "Look at me and focus on me." She nodded; her chest was heaving and stopping short with air, while the mucus ran down the back of her throat causing her to gasp sharply so her breathing to become uncontrolled. "Focus on me and only me." She nodded again and her breathing regulated. "Ok, now tell me what you are seeing."

"John."

"And what is he doing?"

She whimpered, "Nothing you want to hear." She stood sharply and stalked to the window, her arms crossed tightly over her chest while she strove to compose herself.

"Magnus," he stood, but he didn't move closer to her, "you don't have to tell me, but I do think it would help."

"You want me to tell you? You want me to tell you how he raped me because I refused to abort Ashley and because I saved the embryo instead?" She was angry now and she turned on him, her body tightly wound, "You want me to tell you how he humiliated me in front of my father's friends, in front my friends and my family because I did something inappropriate? How he would hit and beat me when I would do something he didn't like? How I had to walk on eggshells for weeks at a time when he was in one of his moods and how I had to lay there and pretend I enjoyed it when he would tie me up and press a sharp blade to my skin? How he robbed me not only of Ashley's pregnancy but of two others? I can't have children again, Will, because I stupidly told him I saved the embryo rather than abort it. Do you really want me to continue?"


	15. Chapter 15

Will stood in stunned silence. Yes, he had expected her to snap eventually, but with anger, not this. The way she was staring at him as if she wanted him to fix everything made him on edge. There was no way to fix this. "Magnus," his voice was pleading; he reached out to run a hand down her arm.

She stepped away suddenly flinging her arm out to remove his hand, "Don't…touch me." Her eyes were locked with his. "I just…need a minute."

"Alright," he didn't move any closer, just stayed near to her staring out the window while his mind churned.

It was a good fifteen minutes before she spoke and her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "I can't do this. Not now."

"You can't or you won't?" When she didn't answer him, he continued. "You are the bravest and strongest woman I have ever known, Magnus. You are not someone to back down in fear, yet that is exactly what you are doing. So why now?"

Magnus knew the answer to both his questions. She wouldn't do this now. She couldn't ever do this until she was sure that John would not come back, but he always came back. It was the dance they had been playing since the beginning. He would always come back; there would never be an end to it. Her eyes slid to his face and he knew in an instant why she thought she couldn't do this now: she was still afraid.

Every time John showed up he would see her withdraw, protect herself, harden against everything. He would make nasty comments about the man, question her allowances of John's antics, and throw her decisions in her face: now he knew why she took it. She was scared that John would not hurt just her. If he hurt her she could handle that, she had always handled that, but if he hurt someone else under her care? That was a different story all together.

"We can take care of ourselves and we can take care of each other. You don't need to protect us." He held her line of sight so she would know he was completely serious.

"Oh, if only that were the truth," she shook her head sorrowfully, "You've never seen him in one of his rages. You don't know what he is capable of."

"Then tell me."

"Those women, the ones he killed as the Ripper…he slaughtered them like cattle." She could see James performing an autopsy, her hands assisting but shaking while she handed him items. She hadn't been able to do it herself and James had insisted on helping. There wasn't much left inside the body, just about every organ, it seemed, had been pulled out through the gashes. Magnus looked up to see Will watching her closely, "It's not something I like to remember."

"Understandable."

"The night of the third murder was the night that James decided to confront John about his actions toward me. I didn't know at the time that James had planned it. I didn't even know they had spoken until weeks later. James and John had a 'sit down,' least that's what James told me. I believe it to have been a much more violent affair." Will's eyebrow rose in question and Magnus tilted her head to the side, "James had a broken nose the next morning." She looked back out the window and a few more minutes passed by. "I won't do this now."

"Do you have a choice? You won't be able to go on active duty. We can't take that risk and you know it."

"Yeah, maybe I'll take some time off. Go on a vacation."

"I'd rather you didn't." The look she gave him in response said he better explain something or there was going to be hell to pay. "You said yourself earlier you don't relax well. So perhaps, relaxing should be the last thing you do."

She nodded, maybe he was right, but she didn't want to give him that satisfaction just yet. She needed to keep him on edge a bit, make sure he hadn't figured her all out. "Thank you, Will. I think I'll take my leave for now."

"Magnus." She stopped her motion, her hand already on the handle to the door and her face aimed down to the ground. It was so unlike her. "If you have another dream, come get me will you? It's what I'm here for."

Even though he had said it, he was thoroughly surprised when she showed up at his door at three in the morning. Her hair was disheveled, dark circles under her eyes that were bare of the mask she painted on every day. She was standing, motionless in his doorway, her body being braced by one hand on the handle and the other on the jamb. She didn't say a word as she walked over, her naked toes padding silently on the ground and sat on the bed, the mattress dipping. "Hey," his sleep filled voice rang out in the room.


	16. Chapter 16

When Magnus woke, her face was pressed into a pillow that was most definitely not hers. She pressed her palm onto the mattress and lifted her head up so she could survey the area. She plopped her head back down on the pillow she had just vacated when she saw Will sitting at his desk, typing at his computer. His hair was wet and he was dressed in his regular jeans and shirt. His room, she was in his room.

It was another hour later when she rolled over and opened her eyes once again. This time, she was more inclined to keep them open. She was lying on her back when Will made his way over to her with a hot cup of tea. "I thought you might be waking up soon so I made some tea for you." He set it on the bedside table and stood over her. "You fell asleep and I didn't want to disturb you because you obviously haven't been sleeping well." Her only response was a nod. "I ran interference with the Big Guy, Henry and Kate. They're all out and about doing something or another. You shouldn't have any problems getting to your room. I told them you went out shopping." The twinkle in his eyes brought the first smile in a long time to her lips.

She rubbed down her eyes quickly before making to sit up, "What time is it?"

"Little after ten."

"After ten!" She looked at the clock next to the mug of tea to verify that he was correct.

He shrugged, "You needed the sleep." He watched her for a bit longer and when she reached over to grab the mug she broke his gaze. He waited until she had brought the soothing drink to her lips before he spoke again, "Want to tell me about the dream now?"

Carefully she took a sip, "John came here, everyone was gone except Henry and I. Or so I thought." She took another sip, deciding to retell the story as factually as possible, like she was giving a report. That way she could keep her raging emotions in check. "John found me first, tied me to a chair in my office and then left. He came back with you first and then Henry." She took another long sip and stopped in her story. That was all he needed to know, he was smart so he could fill in the blank spots she left out.

"And what happened when he brought each of us in the room?"

Apparently, he wasn't going to let it go. Damn him. "John made me watch while he…took your bodies apart piece by piece. He started with your stomach so you would live longer: suffer more. He knew that would be the worst thing for me. He killed you first, but Henry was in the room. He was so scared and there was nothing I could do. God, Will, it was horrible." She was clenching the tea mug tightly between her two hands, her fingers wrapped around each other and she stared into the gently moving water. "I watched as he cut out your organs and placed them at my feet. An offering, he had told me, to my beauty. He made you watch first, though." She stopped then, her eyes riveted to the cup before her.

"Made me watch what?"

"He made you watch, not Henry. He said Henry was too much like his son," she sobbed softly then feeling the bile rise in her throat. "Watch while he forced himself on me."

"Tell me what happened," he made sure to keep his voice calm and void of emotion other than quiet understanding.

She took a long breath before answering him, but she still refused to look at him. "He stood me up, my hands were still tied behind my back and he cut my clothes off with the knife he keeps on his wrist. He made you stand there while he told you exactly where and how I could be pleasured, so next time I decided to be unfaithful to him you would know the right things to do since it would be the last. He used his fingers first, and was behind me so you could see everything. He made…" she took a deep breath; this part was not going to be easy. Yet she had come to him. She looked at him then; she was only going to say this once. "He made you and I…so he could watch."

"Magnus."

His voice was so soft, so endearing. She couldn't handle it; her body began to shake, and the tears spilled forth, there was no stopping it. "Then…then he killed…Henry." Each word was spoken on a sob. "Said I didn't…deserve to be…a mother." He took the cup from her before she could spill the contents and set it aside. Wrapping his arms around her body she curled into him and didn't stop crying for over an hour.


	17. Chapter 17

A few days had passed and Magnus called Will into her office, knowing that he would misinterpret why she was calling him in. He would think she wanted another session which she did not. When he arrived she was just hanging up the phone. "I have to go to London for a week."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, just a few meetings Declan wants me to be present for." There was an awkward silence as Will hovered over the back of the chair he usually always sat in, his fingers gently squeezing the material and supporting his body. He was waiting for her to continue, there was obviously something else that she wanted. She fiddled with some papers on her desk before continuing, "I would appreciate it if you would come with me."

"When do we leave?"

She glanced at her watch, "Two hours." His eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets.

"Um, yeah, I'll go pack." He left her alone and moved to his room.

Three hours later she was passed out on the plane, book in her hands and her face pressed against the seat. Will was watching her carefully. She looked like she hadn't slept in those few days, and she probably hadn't. He was glad she was taking the opportunity now. Magnus stayed in that position for the entire trip, only waking when the wheels touched the ground.

The meetings began immediately and Magnus was locked in a room in the back of the UK Sanctuary for hours on end. Will wandered aimlessly until they decided to emerge into the land of the living for some sustenance called dinner, albeit two days after the meeting at started. They had been locked up in that tiny room for 72 hours, everything being brought to them with only small breaks here and there. He really honestly didn't understand why she wanted him here if he wasn't going to be doing anything.

She was exhausted, he could see it in the way she didn't talk and shoved her food around in circles occasionally taking a bite. He hung around until the rest of the bigwigs decided it was time for bed and took their leave. Magnus was still sitting in a high backed chair with a half empty wineglass in her hand.

"Everything ok, Magnus?"

He pulled her out of her reverie and she turned to him, only slightly startled. "Yeah, just being back here…it's not easy, especially this time around."

"Understandable."

"Want to go for a walk?" When she looked at him her eyes were pleading. She couldn't go to sleep; she couldn't go into that room and have the memories rip through her mind. She'd stay awake the entire week if need be, but she would not be sleeping in that room. He nodded and she stood leading the way.

Will trailed beside her for a decent distance both of them in silence. She had left her wine glass on the table and was now wringing her hands together. They walked through many hallways and it was minutes before she stopped. They had just descended a steep flight of stairs into the basement. "This is where my father first kept the abnormals: locked away from the rest of us, so we wouldn't know." She didn't make to open the door that her eyes were riveted to and Will didn't move or speak, feeling her need to just be there. She stayed where she was a while longer before turning and moving back up the stairs.

He followed her around to various places where she would stop for a few minutes, staring transfixed by some otherworldly and distant memory that only she could see. Finally she was making her way back to where they had started, her back slouching slightly and her feet just barely dragging. She was exhausted, but this had helped. She sat back down and he planted himself across from her. "Where did we go tonight, Magnus?"

She took a sip or her now very warm wine and looked him over, "Every place he took me. Unwillingly." Taking another sip she finished off the glass quickly. "The hallways were his favorite place to—" she stopped, swallowing hard before continuing, "always a chance of getting caught."

He waited to be sure she wasn't going to continue before speaking again, "And why are we here?"

She didn't look at him, "Can't sleep." He understood then, why she was still here, why she hadn't gone to her room.

Taking her hand he pulled her to stand and she swayed softly with weariness. He pressed his fingers against her lower back and led her to his room which was situated in the guest wing. "Sleep tonight, we'll talk in the morning or when the meetings are over." She didn't strip, only stepped out of her shoes and rolled onto the bed. He pulled a throw from the bottom of the mattress and rested it over her body. "I'll be right here, I promise." He turned off the overhead lights and turned on the bedside lamp. Sitting in a chair close by he opened a book, resting his now shoeless feet up on the bed and began to read.


	18. Chapter 18

Magnus woke early in the morning her body rested and relaxed. She hadn't changed positions the entire night and she was still facing Will, who was sleeping soundly and awkwardly in the chair, his glasses half falling off his face, the book precariously balanced with one hand and his leg, which was still resting on the bed. Magnus slowly removed herself from the mattress and covered him with the blanket she had used. Pressing a hand to his cheek softly she left the room in silence.

She made her way to her own rooms; the sun was barely making its way into the sky and she didn't see any wayward souls on her travels through the halls. Taking a deep breath she pressed her hand to the doorknob. She closed her eyes and braced herself before turning it slowly and entering.

Nothing had changed in the intervening years. True, many people had slept in this room, visitors and guests, but whenever she arrived it was always available for her. Taking a quick glance around she saw him standing at the window; his back was to her and the glass parted allowing in a cold breeze. "John," her voice was questioning as she stepped forward, shutting the door behind her.

He was humming deeply in his throat when her name rolled off his tongue. He turned to her then, his eyes raking up and down her body. "Beautiful as always." She stepped forward, not discouraged by his tone.

"Anything I can do for you, John?"

He was behind her in an instant, teleporting at will. His hands were on her hips as he started to guide her into a dance: one that had been his favorite many years ago. Allowing him the premise she began to sway to the beat they could hear in their heads. Eventually he turned her to face him. He looked older, she thought; the lines by his eyes were pronounced, but then again, he always looked older with no hair covering his head.

He took her through the entire song, ending the dance with a curt bow and a twinkle in his eye. She tried again, "John, what's gotten into you? We haven't danced for ages."

"Helen, my love," he moved in close to her, his hand cupped her cheek, and he gripped her waist softly. "What would you say if I told you I had found a cure?"

"Have you?" Her hands remained at her side until his head began to lower down to hers. His lips brushed each corner of her mouth. When she went to form a protest his lips claimed hers and she melted into his body. It had been far too long since anyone had kissed her like this, as an old lover would. And he was just that. Her hand found its way to the back of his head and held him to her. John's chest rumbled against hers in laughter. He began to walk toward the bed and she let him lead her, once wouldn't hurt anything; would it?

He stripped her and laid her down gently against the unused sheets. His chest was bare against hers when he pressed down against her body. His fingers inside her when he pulled the knife from under the pillow where he had placed it for safe keeping, "Where were you tonight, love? I've been waiting for hours."

She stopped, her heart began to pound in her throat and fear seeped into every pore. "Working." It was the first thing she could come up with and a line she had fed him many times, only then it had been truth.

John lurched forward and pressed his nose into her neck, "You do realize I can smell man and sex on you."

"I swear to you, John, I didn't!"

"Don't lie to me!" His voice rose as did his body. She tensed knowing the blows would begin to come. "Who were you with, Helen?" He avoided her face, always careful to never leave a mark there to turn her beauty. Her ribs were broken one by one. Each hit she cried out in pain, but he was in such a rage he didn't notice. When he grabbed her hand and bent the fingers back one by one and the twisted the bones around she was shocked. Torture had never been his trademark, but she was refusing to speak and answer him.

When he was done beating her he moved into her. His body was unrelenting and every time he thrust, her chest lurched in sharp shots of pain. She passed out before he finished and gladly remained that way for hours. When she reemerged into the conscious world, he was gone. Gingerly standing, she went into the bathroom to look herself over. She saw the blood dripping down her leg first in the mirror. The word was reversed but she knew exactly what it said, whore. It was carved deeply over her pubic hair.


	19. Chapter 19

Will caught her leaving the meeting after they had, once again, been cooped up in the room for 48 more hours. He had been wandering yet again and had happened upon the release of the bigwigs. She was walking stiffly, her body straight and her back rigid. She waited in her spot until everyone else had left, only her and Declan remained. Will sauntered up to them and she grasped his arm tightly. "I think I'd like some tea, Will, care to join me?"

"Yeah sure." Even though he hated drinking her kind of tea, he would drink it if it meant she would be talking to him.

Declan spoke roughly, "I've got some catchin' up to do; I'll leave you two to it." Magnus nodded at him and he left with permission. She sighed heavily into Will and let her weight be fully supported. Will, realizing that his arm was not enough, wrapped his hand around her back and carefully began to lead her away.

"Will, I need to go to my rooms." He nodded and changed his direction quickly. When they reached the door she hesitated and shook her head.

"Mine?" When she nodded he tightened his grip then loosened it at her sudden wince of pain. "Magnus?"

"Just, let me sit for a bit." She sat in the chair he had slept in a few nights before.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Her eyes sharply landed on his, "John, who else?" His eyebrow raised and she sighed, knowing she would have to show him. She lifted her shirt carefully, dragging in a full breath as her arm hitched higher.

"Jesus Magnus!"

"It's not that bad," she dropped her shirt immediately.

"No it's bad, get on the bed." She didn't have the energy to argue and the bed did look mighty appealing.

"Help me then." He helped her to stand and sit on the edge of bed. He slowly unbuttoned her blouse and she closed her eyes, ignoring that it was him and that this situation made this necessary. When he pulled the material away from her he noted that her entire abdomen was sickly shade of yellow and purple.

"How many are broken?"

"All but one, I'm afraid. Not the first time I've broken them."

"Coughing?"

"Minimal." His eyes shifted to the ground, but he stopped when he saw another bruise on her leg.

He placed a hand against her knee, "I'm going to move this up." He waited until she agreed before sliding the material up. He found large handprints bruised into her thighs, no matter how far he went up. Noticing the angles of the prints, he picked her hand up and placed it softly on her own leg. Magnus looked at him curiously and he explained, "It was a hallucination."

"Yes," her fingers found his cheek, "Help me to lie down. I need to sleep."

"We need to do something about these hallucinations."

"I know," she rested against the pillows he set up behind her head, "I think I need a few more days here, before we go back. And this is the first one I've had since we've last talked. It has been helping, no matter how much I might like to disagree." She grabbed his hand then to get his attention. He had unclasped her bra, knowing it must be uncomfortable and buttoned her shirt again. He stopped to look at her eyes, "Thank you, I mean it."

"Yeah I know, now get some sleep. I'll go make the arrangements."

She slept for six hours straight and woke in a coughing fit. Which was good, because it meant her lungs were clearing, however, the movement caused her even more pain. He was waiting for her to wake and immediately rang for some tea and food, knowing she would need to eat. After she'd finished her meal he stared her down. "Magnus, you need to start talking, and I mean really talking. We need to figure out how to work through this. It's unhealthy." She nodded and coughed into her hand. "What set him off?"

"Mostly it was jealousy, of anyone, even James and Nikola. That was how it usually started, but then it was a game to him. How far can I go without killing her? He never wanted me to die, I'm sure he would never kill me. I don't believe he can, but kill everyone around me? That he could easily do."

"Hence your dreams with me and Henry."

"Yes, if he knew it would hurt me, I have no doubt he would do it."

Will paused a second, "Why do you only fight back when someone else is in the room?"

"I—" she stopped then, realizing she didn't have an answer. When she looked up at him there were tears in her eyes and she was begging him to stop, to allow her not to cry for pains sake and for her own mental sake.

"It's just something to think about." He whispered softly. "Here's an easier question, when did you stop fighting back?" She didn't even pause to think, she knew exactly when it was.


	20. Chapter 20

Magnus remained silent for many minutes, contemplating whether or not to tell him. Deciding it would be worth her wile and perhaps reveal something further, her lips parted and she answered. "Spring of 1886: that's when I stopped fighting back." She moved her hands under her body to push herself up further; she winced, but waved off Will's help when he moved to assist. "We were still at Oxford; James and John were graduating at the end of the semester. Nikola, Nigel and I still had another year to go. John and I had been… having problems. He was becoming controlling and well, you know me, couldn't have that."

Will stifled a laugh at that, he could see Magnus pushing John's buttons just to get a rise out of him only to have it reversed back on her in a violent rage. "What happened in 1886?"

"That was… that was the first time he ra—forced me. Nigel found me afterwards, crying on the terrace. He'd been most worried. Everything seemed to go pear shaped from then on."

"What was different about the way he treated you that time?" Will was leaning back in the chair, taking as many mental notes about the situation in his head as possible so he could write them down later.

"I was attached to a gentleman, Will. In those days and as a woman who did what I did it was rare and unexpected. It was expected of me to marry him as he was the only man who would consider marrying me."

"Love?"

"Oh yes, I loved John, very much. Still do and I am most positive the man loves me, to a fault. That made the opportunity even rarer. To marry for love, that was not often heard of, especially in my case."

"Magnus," he took a minute to ground her, settle her in before he repeated his question, "What was different?"

"He threatened to ruin everything, and I knew he could. Even James wouldn't be able to solve or fix what John could do to my reputation as a woman or my reputation as a doctor. James was much too close to the situation to notice anything would be wrong anyway. That's how John evaded Scotland Yard for so long. Nigel noted something was wrong first, he was always the kindest and sweetest."

"Did Nigel speak to you when he found out?"

"He waited to be sure his suspicions were correct. He spoke with me first in December of 1886, at the Christmas ball the school held every year. After he confronted John, later, I was very much told what would happen if anyone were to know what had happened and consequently what continued to happen."

Will looked her over a long time before speaking; this was the most he had ever gotten her to say in one sitting. Even though it wasn't about the actual abuse or repercussions of such, he was hesitant to stop her. "Magnus, you do understand that you were raped?"

Her eyes slid over his face and then beyond his head where she was staring transfixed. "It's John, Will. He's standing behind you."

Will glanced over his shoulder and saw no one standing there; he turned back to her, confident that this was another hallucination. "No one is standing behind me, Magnus. I want you to blink and look at him, squeeze my fingers until you don't see him anymore."

She did as she was told, blinking and grabbing his hands, practically cutting off the circulation. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Lifting her lids slowly she was looking directly at Will, her gaze unwavering until she saw the flash of steel. She fell out of the bed immediately and crawled to John's feet, her hands on his calves and she clawed at him, tears in her eyes. "Please don't, John. I'll do anything you want, anything." Her eyes were pleading, and she felt John's fingers in her hair soothing her frenzied brain.

Declan burst through the door when he heard the commotion and Magnus turned on him, a gun in her hand and she aimed the weapon up to his chest. "Please, don't harm him," there were tears in her eyes and her knees pinned to the ground her chest heaving with breath.

"Declan!" Will stood and shoved the chair back causing it to topple over behind him.

"Please don't harm him," she pleaded again at the same time Declan spoke.

"What the bloody 'ell is going on 'ere mate?" His voice booming as he leaned down to where Magnus was before him.

"Stop it!" She shouted loudly and Declan stepped back, his hands still outstretched before him as he was reaching for her figure. She was sobbing, "Stop it." She whispered before the gun fired.


	21. Chapter 21

Will blinked wildly, his eyes scanning the two forms in front of him. Magnus was still on the ground, her sobs racking through her entire body, her knees spread out barely holding her body up. The gun was on the floor, her hands wrapped around her midsection and her hair falling over her face. Her crying was the only sound in the room, everything else was silent.

He leaned down and brushed his fingers over her back and she leaned into him immediately, burying her nose into his shoulder. Will started making soothing sounds and rubbing his hand in circles over her bruised and broken bones. At that moment, he was sure she wouldn't care. She just needed the human contact.

The muscles in his legs were starting to hurt from squatting when he finally looked over at Declan. The man was leaned against the heavy wooden door to her room, his hands covering his face and his body was unnaturally still. "What's wrong with her?" His voice was so quiet against the onslaught of Magnus that Will almost deliberately ignored him to only focus on the woman.

"Nothing of your concern."

"Like 'ell it's none of my concern! She nearly shot my 'ead off, that's what." The man was furious, his hands removed and wildly gesturing around, but his body remained still.

"It's nothing that I haven't seen before with her and nothing that she isn't working to resolve."

"She can't be on active mission, Will. Do you know what that might do?"

"Yeah, I do, which is why she hasn't been on any in a good amount of time. Really Declan, I need to work her through this right now. Are you good to stand?"

"She missed me by a millimeter, she did." But he slowly began to rise, using the leverage from the palms of his hands on his thighs to propel him upwards. "Come find me when you get a chance and make sure it's before you leave."

"Absolutely," Will would need to make sure that Declan was fine after almost being shot by his boss and that none of this leaked out to the network or other liaisons that they worked with on a regular basis. He watched the UK Head of House leave the room in silence before he looked down at the woman still shivering and shuddering in his arms.

"I missed, I missed him right?" She was mumbling into his shirt, "Please tell me I missed him. I tried to miss him, but I—"

"Yes, Magnus, you missed him. Declan is fine, he's not hurt at all." She nodded into him then. "Magnus, I need you to calm down and breathe deeply." She started coughing when she tried to listen to him. Instead of her body racking because of the sobs, her chest and shoulders were convulsing with the coughing. As soon as he got her to sit up straight and she was breathing normally, her cheeks turned red with embarrassment and she turned her cheeks to the ground.

"Dear lord, Will. I'm so sorry." She swiped her fingers under her eyes to remove the tears that were still falling and to erase any trace of mascara that might have trailed down.

"Don't be," he sat back to give her room, but remained close enough that if she needed him he wouldn't be far. "I think you needed that."

"Maybe, but it is utterly embarrassing, and in front of Declan too?"

"What did you mean by you tried to miss him?"

"I—I realized that it wasn't John, but I thought that it was too late. I couldn't… I couldn't take my finger off the trigger, though; it still could have been him. I don't know what I would have done had I injured Declan. He is one of the closest friends I have left."

"You didn't hurt him, Magnus. You controlled the hallucination and you need to remember that. It is very important to remember that you broke through the hold it had on you."

She looked at him then, her eyes weary, her skin pale but flushed from the emotions raging through her. She couldn't stay here any longer. At least home was safe; at home she had no weapons at her immediate grasp; at home she could sob and no one would care; at home she could hide away for days and no one would dare to bother her. "William," she was softly pleading with him, ignoring his last statement and moving beyond his words, "Take me home."


	22. Chapter 22

Will knocked on the door to Declan's study without putting much thought into the matter. He had been requested, or ordered depending on semantics, to the office to speak with Declan on the matter of Magnus and her issues. He would arrive, he would claim confidentiality, since she was technically a patient, and he would leave. Simple as that.

He heard the "come" issued from the other man and strolled inside. "Will," Declan issued apprehensively, he wasn't sure he wanted to know exactly what the woman was going through. Sure, she had seen a lot in her many years, but James had never indicated such a violent reaction to something. He wasn't even sure what had happened.

"Declan." Will replied not necessarily wanting to start this conversation.

"Is she..?"

"She's fine for now, but she wants to go home. We'll be leaving soon. Are you alright? Having your boss take a shot at you isn't exactly a healthy working environment."

"No its not, but it wouldn't be the first time and in this job anything can happen. I'm good though, thanks."

Will nodded, "There's little I can tell you concerning Magnus' condition, but she is starting to work through it all and I think today was very important for that."

"Well, glad to be of service then. Just an ol' pack mule you can run aroun' doin' whateva." Declan grimaced at the end of the statement even though it was said with sarcasm and a jovial heart. The situation itself was probably still weighing heavily on him. There was a long silence before he spoke again. "If you or she needs anythin'—"

"I know, and I'm sure she does too." Will shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. "And the network?"

"What about th' network?"

With the tone that Declan used Will knew exactly what the man meant by the question. "That's what I thought, just being careful."

"You be careful, she's got wicked aim."

Will chuckled, "Yeah, I know. The sub remember?"

"Aight, I forgot about that one."

"Yeah." There were a few more awkward seconds before Will lifted a hand and pointed his thumb to the door, "I'm gonna go pack and make arrangements."

"That you do, Will. Till next time then."

Will nodded and left the room as Declan turned back to his desk. Leaning down he pulled out a file of requests. Shuffling through the papers he finally found the one he wanted. It was a form that he rarely used and one he knew Magnus never did, at least in all the time he had worked there.

Running over the form, he filled the paper out in his best penmanship possible, knowing it looked a little girly, but that was fine by him. It was supposed to look that way. Finally he reached the last line that required a signature. Damn, that one would be difficult. Running through some more paperwork he found exactly what he wanted. He settled a blank sheet of white paper over the signature and copied it precisely in as dark of ink as he could.

Taking the form he had just filled out, he placed that blank signature over the one he had just copied. Perfect, he could see right through to the other piece. Once again he copied the name. Holding the form up, Declan admired his handiwork before signing the approval part himself. He had only done this once before with James and it had been appreciated by the man. Of course that was months after the fact, but he was sure that his plan would go over better this time.

Standing, Declan made his way to the other side of the room where he opened a cabinet that held all the electronics that Watson had mildly detested and had been required to use on occasion. Smiling to himself Declan placed the sheet in the fax machine to send it on over to the network office in Old City. Maybe he hadn't planned this through fully. Hopefully the butler or the protégé would pick it up before she saw it, file it and force her to abide by it since it was already approved. That was what had happened with James, only Magnus had been the one to enforce it and no one says no to Magnus.

He hit the start button and watched the paper feed through the machine. It dialed and it was sent. Magnus would have two weeks leave beginning tomorrow morning.


	23. Chapter 23

Will finished business and wrapped everything at the UK Sanctuary fairly quickly, he knew that Magnus wanted to leave as soon as possible. He had been able to pack his bag rather hastily, making his way to her rooms he found her slowly placing clothes into her bag, her movements were calculated in every sense of the word. "Want some help?" He said after holding the door open for a moment and watching her.

"No, but thank you William, I believe I can manage on my own."

"Ah," coming into the room he sat on the bed and rocked his feet back and forth when he realized his toes didn't touch the floor. "Talked to Declan, he's fine, just worried about you is all." He didn't dare look at her face, knowing it wouldn't tell him much in way of what she was thinking.

"And what did you say to him?"

"Nothing really, I just went to make sure he was ok, since I figured you wouldn't believe me otherwise."

She nodded thinking to herself and remaining in her own world until she zipped her small bag. "I will write him a letter when we get home."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

Again she nodded looking sorrowfully at her bag, "Is it time yet?"

"Any time you want, we can leave." He followed her line of sight until it reached the black leather. "I got it." He picked it up and started walking toward the door. He stopped when he realized she wasn't following. Magnus was still standing, rooted in her spot next to the bed and her eyes were staring out the window. "Hey, you ok?" He came back to stand next to her.

"Hmmm? Yeah." Her eyes flicked over to his face before turning back. It was a few more minutes before she looked at him again, "I stopped thinking about fighting when he took Ashley from me. After I got her back, I was all the more determined to keep him from her."

Something about the way she phrased that made him think, "Did John ever see Ashley, before I met you?"

"Hhe knew of her. It was right after she was born; he came and found me in my study. That was the last time he…" she paused and started again after taking a steadying breath. "That was the last time he raped me."

The inside of Will's head was shouting "Yes!" very loudly and jumping for joy. Her admitting that was a gigantic feat he wasn't sure he would ever see. The outside of him remained calm and steady as she continued to watch his face.

"He found out about Ashley that night, but he didn't see her and I didn't think he would ever come back. I told him if he did I would kill him."

"But you didn't?"

"No," her eyes swept to the floor, "I didn't."

He waited minutes before speaking again, "Come on, let's go. The plane's going to leave without us." He ran a hand down her arm until she started to move. They would have more time to talk on the flight, but he was sincerely hoping that she would sleep during it and take some pain medication. She was no doubt in a lot of pain.

She followed him out of the room, down the hallway and out of the Sanctuary that had once been her home. They were seated in her private jet and he had handed her two pills which she had blindly taken before resting her head against the back rest. "James never understood why I needed to move. He actually thought it was because of him."

He waited for her to continue and when she didn't he spoke up. "Magnus…has anything like this ever happened before?"

She nodded with her eyes shut, unwilling to admit that almost exactly this had happened before. Only then she had been able to solve the problem by moving almost halfway around the world and completely ignoring the situation by focusing on her newest addition to the network. Obviously it had worked then, but she would not be able to get away with doing similar now. She drifted off into a light sleep as soon as the plane leveled out in the sky.

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Magnus' old friend was dusting her office when he heard the fax come in. Picking up the paperwork he read over the form quickly. Noting the obviously forged signature, bad penmanship and Declan's approval he grunted to himself. A vacation request for two weeks for one Helen Magnus Director of the Sanctuary Network was filed away in a cabinet.

Taking the initiative he finished cleaning the office, changed the locks, and asked Henry to put a key code lock on each door. He changed all notices on her phones and her email accounts to respond automatically that she would be out of the office. She would not be happy with him, but he was sure that if Declan had seen the need than it was a necessary sacrifice.


	24. Chapter 24

Will was watching a camera that Henry had pulled up on his screen. Magnus was walking slowly down the hallway, spent about two minutes fiddling with the key coded locking mechanism before slipping into her study. She had only been somewhat furious when they had returned to find the new "security" measures on her study and the "malfunctions" which caused her inability to enter. Magnus was obviously smarter than that, but had played along with their game. She knew she could easily break the lock and sneak into her office in the depths of night whilst the rest of the Sanctuary slept.

Henry confirmed with Will that she had been doing it for days. Will had no qualms with her working as she always left after a few hours with no paperwork in hand, which meant she was actually taking time off. After her confession of rape he had only met with her a few times, letting the realization float around in her head. She told him she had no more hallucinations since the "Declan incident" as she was calling it and only one or two nightmares. The weeks passed quickly and she was healing reasonably well so that she returned from her "vacation" two days early with the gratitude of Will and all of her staff.

Feeling safer and more secure with herself and her own mental state than she had in many weeks, Magnus decided to confront Will. She knocked on the door to his office lightly before turning the knob to enter. He was just finishing a conversation and waved at her to take a seat.

"Hey," he said after placing the headset onto the base.

"I would like my weapons back." Her voice was commanding, but her eyes were pleading. She knew he could deny her request and she would listen to him, but she sincerely hoped he would agree.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Magnus," he began and watched her body stiffen, "I just want to make sure that you are absolutely positive you want them back. I want to know that you've thought seriously about this."

"I have, Will. I would like them back, please."

"Alright, just checking." He stood and moved to a safe in a closet off the side of the office. He punched in the code that only he knew and opened the door to the stash of weapons she had given him. "I kinda felt like the big bad principal holding contraband." He laughed and she smiled.

Magnus placed two guns and one knife on her body and carried the rest, putting them in their designated areas before returning to her study. The weight of the weapons felt odd on her body, she had been without them for a decent amount of time and needed to get used to the feel again.

Two hours later she took off the shoulder holster because it was digging uncomfortably into a rib that was slowly healing. She had accidentally broken it again when breaking into her study the fourth or fifth night she'd been back from London. She gently laid the holster and gun into a drawer of her desk and softly pushed the wood closed until it clicked. Heaving a sigh of relief she turned back to the book she was reading for research on an abnormal the New York Sanctuary had attained many years ago and was now having difficulties breeding. She needed to learn more about the specific medical information of the species.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts and the work that she didn't realize the sun had set and dinner had passed. Flicking the metal on her wrist until she could see the face she gasped at the time that had passed. It was almost midnight. Deciding it was better to sleep and heal than stay up and finish her work, she began to put away her files and straighten her desk.

She heard the door open and close with a quiet snick and she didn't bother to glance up knowing it was Will to herd her towards bed and away from the office. He had made it a habit of his lately and although the thought was appreciated the action not always was.

"I'll be just a minute, Will, I'm almost done here and then I'll be off." The throat that cleared was deep and when she finally looked up her eyes widened and her heart fluttered, "John! What are you doing here?"


	25. Chapter 25

"Helen." The way he said her name sent shivers down her spine. She was able to keep her voice even before, but she wasn't so sure she could keep it that way. "Why is it you never seem happy to see me?" His voice was just like she remembered it, silky with power and loose with control. "Hmmm?" He questioned and the timbre of his voice rose slightly.

"I don't know what you are referring to, John." She fiddled with the folders on her desk ignoring him outwardly, yet still keeping as close an eye on him as possible.

"Of course you do, Helen." He was standing next to her in an instant, his body towering over hers. He didn't touch her; he didn't want to scare her off just yet. "You're beautiful when flustered."

"I'm sure." Normally, over a century ago, she would have pouted had he said that. Now she just wanted to avoid him at all costs. She took a deep breath and started, "What are you here for, John? There's no global emergency, the blood I gave you should last for a few hundred more years and Nikola's not around, so no need to protect me from him."

"Just a visit, that's all. I thought I'd come home for a bit, see you."

"Oh for heaven's sake, John, why are you really here?"

"You wound me, darling!" The look he gave her was the same one he had given her all those years ago when they'd first been sent after Adam Worth. He was enjoying this battle of tongues they had started.

"Really, John, like I could harm you in any way."

His look turned dangerous; she had hit a nerve. "Oh, but you have, love. You have hurt me many, many times. Sleeping with James for instance, letting him touch you. And Nikola, don't even start me on that bore. Who else was there Helen? Hmmm? Nigel perhaps, did that old goat bed you as well? Perhaps young William has become your newest concubine. Adam was right; you are nothing better than an old dirty and used rag."

"John. Stop. Honestly, you still believe we were meant to be together?"

"Of course we are, love." His voice softened and he melted into his memories. "You're always smarter and quicker than me, surely you can see it. I want a family, I want you, Helen. All I've ever wanted is you."

"John," she quieted to try and make her point, "you will never have me. We are not meant for each other." He began to calm, but only slightly, his eyes becoming tender as they caressed over her body, memorizing all the changes in it he could find. Helen closed her eyes against the feeling, the warming in her blood, God, could she make it stop?

The next thing she knew was the feel of his fingers gently pushing back a lock of her hair. "I like you better as a blonde, brings out your eyes, your…innocence."

"I'm hardly innocent anymore, John. You made sure of that."

He tugged lightly on the tip of the strand he was holding in a warning to her, but she was beyond warnings. "Yes, it does seem I brought you into a new light, did I not?"

"You weren't the only one," she said it to anger him, and unfortunately it worked.

John clenched his teeth, his eyes narrowing and his hand fisting at his hips. He tightened his fingers and reached for her hair, turning her face to him harshly. He back handed her. Her voice cried out and she didn't turn towards him again.

He took in a deep breath, his nose pressed against her ear and his body curving against hers. Magnus was working hard to keep her heart rate steady and her breaths calm and was unable to focus on what he was doing "You were mine first, Helen." His lips locked on hers and she bit his tongue when it was shoved into her mouth. He pulled back the blood pouring from his mouth.

"After what you did to Ashley, how could you ever think I would love you again?" He hit her again and squeezed his fingers around her throat, tightening every time she attempted a breath. Helen clasped her hands tightly into his lapels holding on.

"You whore!"

Will heard the gunshot and ran towards the echo of the sound grabbing for a weapon of his own and calling out over the radio all in one swift move. He made for Magnus' study and slammed the door open. She was kneeling next to John's body, her fingers at his pulse and a bullet through the center of his forehead. "What the hell happened?"

She leaned back on her feet and looked Will up and down. "I fought back."


End file.
